wanted: lord and savior

so sammy sells out and where does that leave his loyal followers??? on a more rampant tear of manbitch-beating than ever, that's where!!!!

but this former cabomaster needs more. the disappearance of lord sammy leaves a huge void in my life and nothing to fill it (besides a bunch of fucking vodka'd-down shit-ass tequila!) where do i turn in my time of need?

i think i need to look at myself in the mirror and say "how is sammy different than me???"

he has shaggy blonde hair...so do i
he's fat...so am i
he loves tequila...so do i
he plays guitar and writes horrible songs....so do i
he has millions of fans...i have 2
he has 100s of millions of dollars....i have hundreds of dollars, maybe

so is that it??? a hundred million dollars and a few million fans and i'll already at lord and savior status???

fuck it, i'm worshiping myself!!!!

skyyo wabo aftermath

$80 mil, huh? does sammy really need $80 more mil? i don't really get this deal...but whatever, if i had a tequila business, i'd sell for $1 mil, let alone $80mil!

also, is this for just the tequila (the most important part)? i assume this doesn't include the cantina(s), or any further cabo wabo ventures...like the much-rumored cabo wabo cerveza...

i guess this is also the ultimate "fuck you" to the van dildos...not that they're exactly hurting for money either, but they had their chance (in a number of ways) and blew it (in a number of ways). idiots.

well, the most important part of all of this was omitted from the press release...that being, this officially spells the end of the cabomasters. it is sad to see that part of my life come to an end due to a megamillion dollar faceless business deal that i saw no part of!!! i estimate i have spent approx $5-10k on cabo wabo tequila and related merchandise in the last 3-4 years, making (ex)-lord sammy $80 mil richer. i guess i'm the fucking idiot.

i might have to have a cabo bottle smashing party...i have something like 40-50 empty bottles!

drunkard! watch out! lord JC is NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!

learn to swim, fuckos!

fucking wow

so i guess lord sammy sold out!

this is highly disappointing...i guess i'm gonna have to do a few shots of anejo in mourning!